recepticle=Monday, July 28, 2003
do you speak english?
i have a mission for all of you. well, not all of you; some of you. in fact, probably not even most of you. just the clever ones. we need people who are fluent in any language other than english to translate some files for us; we're talking about literally a few sentences, but we would like them translated into as many languages as we can possibly get them. if you are fluent in french, italian, german, spanish, russian, american, chinese, japanese, korean, dutch, african, latin, esperanto, greek, polish, swedish, or anything else, then leave a comment with your email address, or email me using the lovely button below. we would be very grateful. you'll be credited and everything!
- posted by lawrie at 11:03 AM ~ comments
Thursday, July 24, 2003
normal VIEW! normal VIEW! noormaal VIIEWWW!
last night, just after mumfy was getting back from work, i went channel-hopping to see if there were any decent fims on. just as i passed over itv, the announcer said "and coming up next, our midweek itv movie premier; 'mystery science theatre 3000: the movie'."
i honestly had no idea what to expect, but it sounded brilliant, in the way that a film with that kind of title could: far too long, the words 'mystery' and 'science' just kinda thrown in there, unneccessary futuristic-sounding number on the end... i was half-expecting a self-parody film based on a cult sci-fi series, in the same way the 'twighlight zone' and 'outer limits' movies were.
then it started.
i watched in equal parts horror and awe as the world's most generic mad scientist proceeded to ham his little slice of the film up as much as he possibly could. it was so over-acted, so garish that i was convinced that itv had, for some reason, decided to put a kid's film on at midnight. then came the puppets. jim henson would have been turning in his grave. three of the most dire, hand-up-ass puppetry was going on right before my eyes, and i became even more convinced that i was about to watch the tweenies in space, on a budget.
then the real movie began. to give you some vague idea, the premise of mystery science theatre 3000 is that mr. generic mad scientist has trapped a man on a ship in orbit around the earth, and plans to drive him insane by forcing him to watch really dire fifties b-movies. the only snag is, mike (the guy on the spaceship) has built two robots; tom servo, which looks like a parrot that mated with a lightbulb, and crow, which looks like a robot puppet that mated with a satellite. so they all sit down to watch the movie (in this instance, "this island earth"), and we watch it with them, as they rag the ever-loving crap out of it.
there's no way i can convey this to you as a concept and make it seem as half as good as it really is. you just have to see it. this film is fucking hilarious. it's one of the funniest films i've seen in years. check it out:
mystery science theatre 3000: the movie - "every year hollywood makes hundreds of films. this is one of them."
- posted by lawrie at 12:36 PM ~ comments
Monday, July 21, 2003
WINNER!
- posted by lawrie at 11:23 AM ~ comments
Sunday, July 20, 2003
ten reasons why i hate the film 'hackers'
last night hackers was on. i've never seen it, and i remember when the previews were on at the cinema i thought, "fuck me, i think i'd rather mix my pubic hair into a trifle and eat it than watch this film". it was on tv last night, and i managed to sit through about half an hour before being inspired to write this little list. so, in no particular order, here's the top ten reasons why i fucking hate the 1995 united artists film 'hackers'.
1. phreaking using a cassette recorder to get your change out of a payphone. this does actually work, if you live in 1980.
2. the dialogue. this will not be the last time i mention this. "i tripled the pentium" says angelina jolie. oh did you now? and what in the holy fuck does that mean?
3. the dialogue. said five seconds before the last line i mentioned, jolie spews forth with "i want to triple the ram". stupid bint.
4. angelina jolie and her "i-want-to-be-beat-up" face.
5. apparently, the four most commonly used passwords are "love", "secret", "sex" and "god". whereas we all know that the four most commonly used passwords are "password", "(username again)", "system" and the name of your significant other.
6. the fact that two of the most respected hackers are a pair of androgynous japanese cyberpunks wearing make-up. on tv. and they're called 'razor' and 'blade'. and they're stupid.
7. the dialogue. i really can't stress this enough. "uh, the accounting subdirectory in the gibson is working really hard." yeah baby! work that subdirectory!
8. the fact that a 'virus' contained an encoded video and audio message. wouldn't have been easier to just leave the blackmail note in text?
9. the dialogue. a 'hacker' is handed a piece of paper. in disgust he says "ugh, hard copy". yes, because all computer users hate paper.
10. the dialogue. "i want to triple the word 'triple' using my special 'triple' button. pentium! risc! chip! scsi bus! i want to port my plug-ins to the remote soft drive and upload into my email! then i want to swap the pci into my wtf and rotflmfao via my modemulator - it has a million colours!" says angelina jolie. probably. she's a girl and a hacker. how kooky!
- posted by lawrie at 1:26 PM ~ comments
Friday, July 11, 2003
NUKE THE WHALES!
as i tinkered with my blogger template to get my yaccs code working again, i hit the 'preview' button to (surprisingly) preview my site and see if it was working properly. this came up.
elsewhere, me and my mumfy are going on holiday! in a whale! don't ask - annabel booked it. apparently we get to taste the kind of life only experienced before by such luminaries as jonah, pinnochio, and baron von munchausen. there's a cottage inside with three acres of land, and all the plankton we can eat! if you don't believe me, just email me, and if i don't email you back with proof within twenty four hours i will send a nine-armed giant made of gold to do your bidding for a hundred billion years!
- posted by lawrie at 11:40 PM ~ comments
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
embrodak?
since bloggie decidered to changerate the way all stuffity workifies, oftentimes lawrie codey no workentold. afty logging inside the yaccsity, getting codey proved easily and making the changers wasn't difficultied in anyways. next evening on the happenstance of sometime brokey, please (i urgifies), make haste on the email notifilies. thanks everso.
- posted by lawrie at 4:01 PM ~ comments
Monday, July 07, 2003
and hopefully you'll die too
so, everyone i link to dies. first there was rich, then there was... that other person, who's name wasn't important enough for me to remember, then some other people got boring, then jon ate all his hostees, and then barry stopped talking, then amelia died and went to nintendo-con, which is japanese heaven or something, then craig stopped doing anything... again, and now i get an email from jez saying that he's shutting his shit down. and it's all my fault. i mean, he didn't say that, but it was the way he typed it... all plain-text and western-encoded charset. I KILLED HIM! AND YOU'RE NEXT! YOU'RE ALL! FUCKING! NEXT!
- posted by lawrie at 7:54 PM ~ comments
Sunday, July 06, 2003
just so's you know
1. i want a domain name, but i can't think of a good one. i would like to steal firesuite.net
2. no one has identified my font, and you all lose the game.
3. game phrenzy is coming along lovely, because jon is doing lots of work. good doggy.
4. cube 2: hypercube is better than cube, but has a shit ending. await details of cube 3: mechacube.
5. i smell really clean.
6. these two people are brother and sister:
7. someone needs to think of a theme for a pinball table. the following themes are not allowed: anything to do with outer space, films, cartoons, television, computers, the internet, science, christmas, batman, all the other superheroes, panda cola, any product that exists, space (again), and duck attacks.
8. how about hobo pinball?
- posted by lawrie at 12:58 PM ~ comments
Wednesday, July 02, 2003
please, for the love of god...
help me out! i need someone to idenify this font for me:
i have a feeling it may be called global smallcaps. however, since that returns absolutely zero results on google, i am open to suggestions. and before you suggest it, yes i have tried identifont. eleven times, in fact. and i still don't have the font i'm after. somebody must know! for the sake of the robots and their coffee house!
- posted by lawrie at 4:29 PM ~ comments