recepticle=Wednesday, March 31, 2004
of all the innocent searches...
in case you ever wondered, there have been occasions in the past where i've actually been paid for developing things in flash, and although i like to think my dainty little hands aren't too shabby at creating varied stuffs, there are many, many times when i need to turn to the interweb and see if someone has solved some bothersome quandary that has been causing me to nibble at my fingers in worriment.
today was one such occasion, but instead of having solved anything, this has only added to my wonder. i ask you; what have i found?
- posted by lawrie at 10:08 PM ~ comments
Monday, March 29, 2004
r.i.p. mr blogger
i've always wondered what inspires some bloggers who, after a period of blogging inactivity, choose to post "don't worry, i'm still alive.". have they ever wondered if anyone actually cares if they are alive or not? and after what period of time might you reasonably assume that, purely based on blogging activities (or lack thereof), the blogger might be dead?
this presumptuousness on the part of the blogger strikes me as ill-mannered, and we should have a set of regulations drawn up and the blogging constitution amended. henceforth:
1: the primary administrator of the weblog in question (herein known as 'the blogger') shall only be declared legally dead if:
a) there have been no recent posts within the past three months and
b) said blogger has not responded to any electrogramphonic message (herein known as 'zoom-mail') within the last month or
c) someone has been to their funeral.
so please, webloggers, journal-keepers and american presidential candidate webmasters, do not post "don't worry, i'm still alive! and zany as ever!" unless there was ever actually a real possibility that you might have been dead. because it fucks me off.
- posted by lawrie at 7:50 PM ~ comments
Friday, March 26, 2004
the fate of a nation rests on you, immune system!
today, while at jons house and dithering aimlessly with something or another, the television caught my eye. charles kennedy, leader of the liberal democrats, was shown standing at the podium of a party conference, sweating profusely and mopping his brow (i would say sweating like a pig, but when presented with the fact that pigs are the only other mammals that sweat, the simile loses its potency, somewhat). i had no idea what the voiceover man may have been talking about because the sound was off, but it immediately switched to one of channel five's pretty little graphics, and a poll asking whether or not charles kennedy should still be in charge of the lib dems.
i later found out that apparently, he had a stomach bug, and was ill another time as well. lacking any actual news to report on, channel five instead chose to wildly speculate as to whether mr. kennedy's leadership skills have been hampered by a dicky tummy. maybe he shat them out? (i would actually like to have that last fragment nominated as "best sentence used in a blog post" in the 2005 bloggies).
anyway, it just got me to wondering if channel five had run a similar poll when tony blair received electroshock for his ventricular tachycardia? or even when the former leader of the labour party john smith died? "should john smith still be the labour leader now that he's dead and buried?" or whether it's just a little lighthearted bullying by a laughable television station whose only scoops are in the canteen pick 'n' mix?
- posted by lawrie at 10:11 PM ~ comments
Thursday, March 25, 2004
welcome to love
a new design, a couple of new features, and a couple of old ones dropped. unsurprisingly, the tagboard has disappeared. have an ever so slightly updated new faq, and another one about the site, a new downloads section, and a couple of new images too.
leave me a comment and tell me what you think. and let me direct you to a man called hot phil, who reviews crisps. voila.
edit: i just added my very first vector illustration, a two-colour picture of emily to the image gallery. to save your tired wrists from doing any unneccessary travelling all the way down to the images link, and then all the way back up to click on the picture, let me let me hit you right up.
- posted by lawrie at 2:05 PM ~ comments
Saturday, March 20, 2004
how to teach your children to be wierd
not only did i discover today that you can buy 'daddy's roommate' at amazon - a book for 2 - 5 year-olds explaining gay parenting - but that it was written in 1990. does it paint me as completely ignorant if i point out that i knew there was nothing of like this available to young children?
i always assumed that children's books were about an elephant losing his balloon ("oh! the monkey has it in the tree! and they all drank lemonade!") or russian intellectuals escaping the stalinist purges and seeking asylum in the new world. uh.. black books. but never about real stuff like gay parents and effeminate ducks. that's right.
also, heather has two mommies. i can't get enough! this shit is great!
- posted by lawrie at 3:59 AM ~ comments
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
jon is wierd
this is the first result, after phrenzy.org itself, which comes up in a related search for phrenzy.org. i think he will join me in saying: wtf?
- posted by lawrie at 1:50 AM ~ comments
Friday, March 12, 2004
this blue guy died
go and get your own human plaything, you quartz-brained creampuff. i put the screw in the tuna.
now, go worship the volcano king before he kills all of your children and your feet are left dusty with the ashes of dead babies.
- posted by lawrie at 1:49 AM ~ comments
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
cara luv ilitraecy 4eva
ya'll should just read the fuckin tagboard; it's far more interesting than anything i have to say right now. i'm not so bothered with blogging at the moment, since i have... plans. i'm moving to dovka.org! no... wait... that's jon.
anyway, whatever is happening, it's nowhere near as interesting as these beauties. that's right! you can now order a lifelike (yet all-too lifeless) woman-sized doll to put your penis inside! bleurgh.
- posted by lawrie at 2:13 PM ~ comments
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
never suck a lemon in front of a bugler
in alabama, you can't chain your alligator to a fire hydrant. and many other zany laws!
- posted by lawrie at 3:51 AM ~ comments
Monday, March 01, 2004
lessons in comedy #4: unfunniness
"did you hear the one about the banker... who invested everything in ballplayers?"
they hit it really big... telling kids to stay away from drugs"
this is not a joke, help your community.org
- posted by lawrie at 5:08 PM ~ comments