recepticle=<b>Thursday, June 23, 2005</b><br /><br /><b>hi mommy</b><br />crazy scientists that kill foetuses with their teeth are going to make a <u><a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/03/06/wmouse06.xml%26sSheet=/news/2005/03/06/ixnewstop.html" target="_blank">mouse with a human brain</a></u>.<br /><br />science is awesome.<br /><br /> - posted by lawrie at 4:19 PM ~ <u><a href="asfunction:loadComments,111954354925696225">comments</a></u><br /><br /><b>Saturday, June 18, 2005</b><br /><br /><b>buck rogers in the 25th century</b><br />well, i've had a wee bit of a scare over the past week or so. imagine, if you will, that you begin to get a headache. then imagine that within two minutes this headache disappears, to be replaced by it's much bigger, older brother <b>migrainiac</b>, who somehow manages to forge a spear entirely from pain and shove it directly into your left temple, the tip poking sharply at the back of your eye. every so often migrainiac flicks his wrist, twisting the pole of pain a little deeper, your entire body caving in to throes of agony, your breathing coming in short, shallow gasps as you attempt to hyperventilate and knock yourself out, just so you don't have to consciously experience another second of this utterly unnecessary torture.<br /><br />as the weevils of pain burrow a little further in and no amount of painkillers, ice-packs or the cold side of a pillow does anything to alleviate the pain, you begin to feel the side of your head getting fuzzy; little pin-pricks pinch at the tip of your ear and your temple, and a slick, cold river of misery travels over the top of your head, snaking down the back of your neck. you can feel pieces of your brain falling away like a wet cake, and not for the first time you give in, weeping at the unutterable feeling of wretchedness.<br /><br />after a few hours you begin feel small slivers of pain breaking away from the whole, leaving you battered, exhausted and praying to a god that you never believed in to let you get some sleep.<br /><br />my doctor tells me that i'm getting migraines again, which i haven't suffered from since i was sixteen. in the past nine days, i've had eight attacks. i broke down in her office and told her what i was most scared of, and she said she was almost certain it wasn't <i>that</i>. <br /><br />so, while this week hasn't been an incredible sack of joy as far as my brain is concerned, band stuff has been going pretty well, because we're <u><a href="http://www.twominutewarning.co.uk" target="_blank">off on a short tour</a></u> with locus of control. woo!<br /><br /> - posted by lawrie at 1:52 PM ~ <u><a href="asfunction:loadComments,111910524354437870">comments</a></u><br /><br /><b>Thursday, June 09, 2005</b><br /><br /><b>i am not a human being, i am an animal!</b><br />i found <u><a href="http://www.apple.com/trailers/warner_independent_pictures/marchofthepenguins.html" target="_blank">this trailer</a></u> for <b>march of the penguins</b>; a national geographic film narrated by morgan freeman.<br /><br />just watching the trailer gave me a new-found respect for penguins. i always had a problem with them, and their <i>attitude</i>. think about it; the penguin is a bird. it had been given a gift that man has longed for since the dawn of time - the ability to fly. but the penguin just can't be <b>bothered</b>. i can almost see how they gave up on it all; flying over vast snowy landscapes, the ground below just a huge white blanket, then penguin having absolutely no clue where he is because everything looks the same... finally descending to the ground in frustration, dropping onto his belly and skidding along the ground going "wheee!"<br /><br />the likelihood of this fantastic-looking documentary actually making it into <b>any</b> uk cinema is remote, so i'll probably have to wait around for the dvd to come out, but if it does come out at a theatre near you, go see it. it looks like aces.<br /><br /> - posted by lawrie at 11:17 AM ~ <u><a href="asfunction:loadComments,111831685202590032">comments</a></u><br /><br /><b>Friday, June 03, 2005</b><br /><br /><b>there's no such thing as a jaggy snake</b><br />jiminy cricket, last night certainly was an a-1 tip-top clubbing jam fair. myself, mumfy, marko e, , hannah 'buck' rogers, johnny rock, claire 'harry' harrison, frank the ewok, robin robotink and dave the cock all went to see <b>biffy clyro</b> at loughborough university.<br /><br />as ya'll know, lawrie doesn't drink. emily, however, could probably drink you all under the table, and so i went to the bar to get a beer for emily and a dr. pepper for myself. "have you got any id?" was approximately the last thing i was expecting to hear.<br /><br /><b>lawrie:</b> "uh... i'm twenty seven." <br /><b>barkeep:</b> "everyone's getting id'd."<br /><b>lawrie:</b> "but you didn't id the guy next to me."<br /><b>barkeep:</b> "i know him."<br /><b>lawrie:</b> "dude, i'm <b>twenty seven years old</b>. twenty third of may nineteen seventy eight!"<br /><b>barkeep:</b> [wanders off to pour a beer for <b>someone else</b>] "uh... sorry, it's the same for everyone."<br /><b>lawrie:</b> "fine! fuck it!"<br /><br />and onto the floor we went. for my band, biffy clyro is a <b>major</b> influence, and we came very very close to getting the support slot for last night's gig. unfortunately the first support slot had already been booked because the promoter owed another band a favour. what a shame they <b>sucked balls</b>. imagine listening to listening to a flaccid penis and a damp mushroom play reggae jazz covers of paul mccartney's wings, and you're halfway there.<br /><br />after that particular abomonation left the stage, johnny panic came on. dreadful sound, awesome stage show, that included the following highlights: standing on top of a monitor, only to fall off it seconds later, said monitor being kicked into the crowd; clambering on top of six very unstable pa cabs directly above me and emily, only to realise that his mic had come unplugged; and at the end of the set, picking up a drumkit, holding it over his head, then walking offstage, only to be held back by a drum mic clipped to the rack tom, and having to wait for a stage tech to unplug it before he could leave the stage.<br /><br />as we waited for biffy to enter stage right, a song came on. for a second i thought "is this off the first foo fighters album?", only to realise a minute later that it was <u><a href="http://www.twominutewarning.co.uk" target="_blank">my band</a></u>! as compensation for not getting to play before biffy clyro, we got played before biffy clyro, which is almost as good.<br /><br />as soon as biffy came on, the security guards quickly gave up trying to hold back everyone and flanked either side of the stage, just in case they would need to pull people out of the crowd. this ultimately backfired when, during the last chorus of the last song of the night a bouncer shouldered simon neil's mic, knocking it off the stand. simon then immediately grabbed the guy and said something to the effect of "you stupid fucking fucker! you just fucking ruined the last fucking song of the fucking night you fucking cock! watch where you're going and <b>fuck off!</b>", at which point a very timid-looking bouncer shrank back to the side of the stage.<br /><br />so, all in all, a sandwich of fun on ecstasy bread was had by all.<br /><br /> - posted by lawrie at 12:06 PM ~ <u><a href="asfunction:loadComments,111780500415622030">comments</a></u><br /><br />